Matlock - review by Helen Burns

It’s been 5 years since I last saw Glenn at Matlock Bath, which was also my first solo gig. I had a wonderful evening back in 1999 and Glenn had showed no trace of emotion regarding the Squeeze split, other than to allow himself a small smirk during the ‘save me from this squeeze’ line in Sunny Afternoon.

Fast forward to 2004. Waiting for Maggie to arrive I didn’t roll down to the venue until 8.15 from my hotel up on the hill. By that time the rain had stopped lashing the place and the illuminations stretched along the river making my descent down into the town feel pretty magical. Glenn wasn’t there. In fact he didn’t turn up in the downstairs bar where Mags and I were sitting until near to his usual appearance time of 9.30. It transpired that the trusty Challenger, the UK motorhome that could always be relied on, had had some sort of tantrum when Glenn and the family had arrived in Arran earlier in the week and was now sitting in a repair shop somewhere in Wolverhampton. A friend had driven up to Scotland in the middle of the night to deliver Glenn’s car to him, and on Matlock day Glenn had driven for 8 hours down from Inverkip with poor little Leon wondering why his personal space had suddenly been so severely eroded. Thoroughly exhausted Glenn ordered 2 pints straight off and sat in the bar clutching his ciggy, looking like someone just rescued him after 2 days stuck in a blizzard on a very steep mountain.

But this is not a bad thing as far as the gig is concerned. Although it inevitably started late, tiredness has the curious effect of making Glenn manic, and when Glenn’s manic it makes for a very spectacular show! The audience were gathered around chairs and tables at round the back and sides, apart from a few who’d staged a sit-in on the floor in front of the stage. Mags and I probably pissed everyone off by taking our usual positions standing at the front of the stage and therefore had a great view of a hilarious gig with tons of banter and some great songs. Genitalia went down well. I was able to request Maidstone as I could get my voice heard that close to the stage. What else? Elephant Ride, I’ve Returned, Hostage, Third Rail, Slap and Tickle, Annie, Hourglass, SFP, Tough Love, Piccadilly, UTJ, Tempted. The ill-advised vodka, wine and beer mix I’d had alas prevent me from remembering what else he did.

There were so many jokes I can’t remember them either. At one point the microphone had a momentary echo effect and Glenn said he’d do the next song in a funny voice – “My own”.

He talked about the Demo CDs again and reiterated that 83-86 was rubbish. Then he said luckily they’d started writing good stuff again in 1987, “right up until Domino, which was also rubbish and not how I’d have chosen Squeeze’s final album to be…….er…..but don’t let that stop you buying it from the CD stall afterwards”. Atta boy Glenn. Sell it to ‘em!

Possibly the highlight of the evening was the unplugged Goodbye Girl where Glenn said he would “Come amongst the audience. It’s going to get very messy” (sorry, his joke not mine). And he did his walkabout from chair-to-chair stepping stones routine, ending up with him using the chairs as big skis to slide around the room.

I can’t imagine there was anyone who didn’t leave that place without a huge smile on their face. There was much singing and dancing and the lovely little venue just came to life. Sadly, I understand it’s being sold shortly, so let’s hope the new owner gives it the same amount of TLC as the present one has.